Losing
by Sensational Sista
Summary: Ash and Misty have a fight... But what if one resorts to something drastic? This was a depressing fic for me and hopefully a tear jerker for some, but please read.


**Losing **

**By Sensational Sista**

"Yeah right!"

"It's not my fault!"

"You can be so darn dense sometimes!"

"Better than ugly!"

"You better take that back, you little idiot wannabe pokemon ma-"

"Don't even bother to finish that cause I know what you're gonna say! Misty, you are so annoying! Why do I put up with you?"

Misty frowned. This had started out as a normal fight. The two kids had had the house to themselves that night and ended up in a huge quarrel. Both weren't about to give in this time.

"I don't know! Wait! You still owe me a bike!" Misty shouted at the black haired boy.

Ash got really angry at this, "That stupid piece of metal? You put me through these years of torture all for the bike? Why don't you just....." Ash stopped what he was about to say to cool off. His temper had become just as bad as his friend's. He didn't want to say it.....

"Why don't I what?" Misty asked madly.

"Leave! Just go away forever!" He called back. He, of course, regretted it for as soon as he said that Misty's eyes went wide. Small drops over water began to form in the corners of her eyes.

"Wait. I didn't mean it. I.... umm...." Ash couldn't find his senses. At that moment, Misty's expression was enough to make his heart break in two.

Before she knew it, the small tears began to descend down her rosy cheeks. How could he be so mean? Misty, as Ash, couldn't seem to find any words to say.

Finally, Misty spoke breaking the silence.

"I'll be in my (sniff) room....." She said quietly while retreating to the stairs.

"No, Mist I-"Ash couldn't finish. Misty was already out of sight.

The young trainer stepped back and sat down on his couch. His little yellow pokemon came up to him.

"Chu pikapi cha pi Pikachupi?" The little Pikachu asked.

Ash wasn't listening. He could only beat himself up on the inside on what happened.

'_I can't believe that I said that. Misty means the world to me. The last thing I ever wanted was to have her leave. Apologize? Yes! I have to do that!_'

"But, what if she doesn't want to ever look at my face again?" Ash asked his pokemon who had nuzzled up at his side.

"Chu, pika pika," It said lazily.

"I don't know. Maybe a little bit of time won't hurt." He said while turning his head towards that staircase.

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Misty sat on her bed. Her tears had stopped for the time being. She sat almost completely shrouded in darkness. Nothing had ever made her feel this bad. Even when they had the occasional arguments in the past, nothing this harsh was spoken.

She sniffled a little.

"He really doesn't want me around......" She said dejectedly. "He was the only person I had ever loved, and he wants me gone."

She let in a deep sigh. She then screwed her eyes shut. During that time, she played through all the possible things she could do.

'_Run away from him is the most logical answer. He'd be happy that I am gone and that's what he wants. But I'd still have the memories of him. Soon enough, they'd eat me alive at my soul._' Misty kept her thoughts up until she found one that was perfect.

Misty opened her eyes to the dimly lit room and made her way over to the desk. There sat her teal blue notebook. She sat down and grabbed a pen. As she scribbled away on the sheet, she wondered if it was right. But it was all for Ash. She'd do anything in her power to make him happy. Even if it meant her own life.........

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"That's it Pikachu," Ash said sternly. "I have to set things straight!"

"Chu!" The mouse pokemon agreed. Ash stood up and went to the stairs.

He got half-way up the set of steps when he began to feel funny. It was something he hadn't felt for the longest time. It was the nagging feeling that something was wrong. Try as he might, the feeling stuck with him until he reached the top step.

'_Why do I sense something like this? The last time I felt this was when something was dreadfully wrong........................oh no!_' His thoughts ended abruptly when he guessed it.

"Please no!" He frantically cried while running down the hall. He could see the guest room right ahead. Just a few more feet.

Finally, he came to a skidding halt. Hysterically, he pounded on the door.

"Misty? Open up please!" He called. He waited for a second but didn't get a response.

"Misty!" He yelled louder. Still, he received no answer. He couldn't take it any more. He put all his weight onto the handle, but was surprised when it opened easily.

Slowly he stepped inside. His heart was racing. Ash looked around the room. It was almost spotless. Nothing was out of place, except for the fact that Misty wasn't there.

Ash stood in the center of the room taking in what was around him. The window was open and the drapes were blowing in the cool night wind. It made Ash shiver a little. Then he noticed that her normal draw-string bag was still there. It was slightly open. Being very wary, Ash strode over to it. Inside he found all her pokeballs.

"Why'd she leave without these?" He asked nervously. That's when he saw a note on the desk. Printed on the front of it was 'ASH'. He knew right away it was Misty's penmanship.

He made his way over to it and picked it up. His hand was shaking a lot by then. But he didn't care. He quickly opened it to see what it was about. Small moist dots were on it, which proves she had been crying at the time. It read.........

_Dear Ash,_

_I hope you know that I'm glad you told me to leave. I always wanted you to be happy and this is just another way of helping out. Yes, if you are reading this I have left. And, no Ash...... I am not coming back.........ever. _

_But, before I finish this letter completely, I want you to know that I meant none of it. I meant nothing I had ever called you: Dense, pokemon master wannabe, jerk, idiot...That list goes on and on. I am sorry. I hope you will find it in your heart to forgive me. But, that's not all I wanted to say._

_Ash...... Ever since I met you, I......I don't know. I kind of looked at you differently. Not in a bad way if you think that, but like you were more then a friend. I knew you would never feel the same so I never told you. But, inside, I just wanted to blurt it out. I wanted to tell you that........................... I love you Ash Ketchum. But, they say that the things you love most have to be let go of. So I am doing just that. Sure, I'll miss you. I'll miss you forever! But if you're happy, then I am the happiest person in the world._

_So I guess this is good-bye. I'm sorry I couldn't say this to you in person, but it would have been too hard. And just remember Ash, every journey starts somewhere and it should come to an end too...... you'll always be in my heart, my love._

_Sincerely,_

_Misty Waterflower_

Ash had to regain his balance after he finished reading the letter. His hands were quaking more than ever. She was gone.

He couldn't believe it. His best-friend had left him forever. Soon, he thought of where she could be. If she didn't leave to long ago, he maybe could still catch her.

"Where would she go?" Ash thought wildly. So many places were around Pallet Town. She wouldn't be able to make it anywhere else so soon, though.

Ash hesitated no longer. He ran out of that room with greater speed than a Rapidash.

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Pikachu was pacing downstairs. It was wondering if Ash's apology went well. When Pikachu heard loud foot steps upstairs, it became curious. It scrambled into the hall just in time to see a blur come down off the stair way and rush out the door.

"Pi?" It questioned. It knew something was up, but couldn't tell what.

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'_If I were Misty and just got dissed by me, where would I go?_' Ash asked himself when he came to a street corner. To the left was the Professor's Lab. To the right was the forest. Straight ahead was the town.

Ash considered all the choices and decided to go right. It was the only one that made sense.

After much running, Ash entered the forest he had started out in many years ago. Soon, memories came back to him of his first day as a trainer. He looked around and saw the field where he had angered the wild bird pokemon. He remembered running for his life and falling down the water fall.

Next he was fished out of that river by someone he'd never forget. That was the first place he had ever seen Misty.

"Hey! Maybe she went back there!" He wondered aloud as he sped off to the spot he knew and loved so well.

He arrived as soon as he could, while taking the long route around. He looked around the small area frantically. The only light he could use was that of the moon.

He prayed he wasn't too late. He prayed that he came to the right place. He prayed that she was still alright. But everything was pointing against his hopes. He scanned all he could see. Yet, she was no where.

He walked forward and starred into the dark flowing water. He wondered if she had had the nerve to jump, but Misty was an expert swimmer. She could never do that.

"I could swear that her letter meant somewhere. This had to be it!" Ash told himself. It was all he could think of to bring up his hopes.

Finally, Ash did something that he hated to do. He gave in. There was no more hope that he'd see her alive again. Heck, there was no hope he'd even see her again.

He fell onto his knees and warm tears flowed down his cheeks. What had started as tears of sorrow soon turned into pain and anger.

"It's all my (sniff) fault. She was (sniff) right...... Why'd we have to have that disagreement?" He said. All the thoughts he had at the time were on blaming himself. He looked back to how the fight started......

(Flash Back)

"I got it!" Ash called out as he dove for a pokeball. Just as he reached out for it, it slipped away and hit his mother's prize candelabra. The glass candle holder fell to the floor and shattered.

"Oh my............. Misty! This is all your fault! Look what you made me do!" Ash called as he studied the mess.

"It wasn't my fault!" Misty yelled back. She joined him in the inspecting.

"Yes it was!" Ash shouted back at her.

"Yeah right!"

"It wasn't my fault!"...................

(End Flash Back)

"It was my fault...." Ash realized. "All this is my fault! Misty.... Why'd you have to (sniff) leave me?"

Ash could feel the sting of fresh tears surfacing. He didn't care, though. His best-friend was gone.

He took in a steadying breath of air. He was trying to take it all in at that time. He wanted to keep on blaming himself, but at the time, only one thing came out of his mouth.

"I love you, Misty," Ash said quietly. As he said that, he felt two things. He felt the happiness of telling his true emotions. The love for his dearest friend. Yet, he was hit with the sorrow of it all. He had said what should have been said years ago. And now, it was to late.

The boy got to his wobbly legs and stood. His eyes were glued to the wet with tears ground. The air was frigid, but he could care less. Besides the flowing river, the night was silent. Everything was peaceful and perfect. Then a twig snapped.

Ash automatically jerked his head up. It was a move he had learned on his journey for elusive pokemon. Next he spun around to see the figure he thought he had lost forever.

"Misty?" He asked shocked. The girl in the shadows nodded her head and then hung it low. Ash couldn't believe it. She was alive and here with him! Before he knew it, his feet were carrying him to her.

She lifted her head to see the boy whom she loved approaching. Then she turned away.

Ash stopped just before her. He asked, "Mist, what is it?"

She turned to face him. Her eyes were dull and her face pale.

"Mist! What happened?" Ash asked. Frantically worried was an understatement by then.

Her eyes locked on his. "I'm sorry Ash..... For all I have ever called you."

"That's nothing what I want to hear now. What's wrong with you?" Ash asked again.

Misty looked away. Her beautiful hair fell over her colorless face.

Ash reached out to brush it back, but her hand swatted him away. But before she put them back at her sides, Ash saw something. By her wrists were small red slits. Both had blood stains on them.

Ash gasped and stepped back. "Wha- Wha-...... You're......" Misty faced him once more and nodded.

"Yes Ash...... I am dead. But I want you to know I died for you. I loved you Ash and I will forever....." After she finished, she began to vanish. Ash still couldn't believe what was happening. But he quickly called to her before she was gone.

"Misty! I love you too! I always have and I always will!" When he finished he looked at her ghostly face. A small smile appeared. And with a gust of wind, she was gone.

Ash stayed there a little while longer. His feet wouldn't budge. Did that just happen? Even though he had finally admitted his feelings, the feeling of loss took him over again. He now knew for a fact that she was gone. Gone forever. He closed his eyes and wished that it wasn't happening. He wished he'd just wake up. He wanted to wake up to a fiery red-head who would yell at him. He wanted to wake up from this nightmare............

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Ash sat up in bed quickly. Sweat was on his head. The dream had been something he never wanted to see again.

"Thank god it was a dream," He spoke softly while stroking his sleeping Pikachu's fur.

Then a knock on the door echoed in his room.

'_Misty!_' He thought joyously. He rushed to the door. When he opened it, his face dropped. It was just Brock.

"Hey Ash," He said quietly. His outfit was different then normal. All black.

"What's going on?" Ash asked bewildered.

"You know Ash.................... Today is Misty's funeral."

The End

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**A.N.: What do you think? I thought it was very depressing. I was so depressed for an unknown reason that I had to write something tragic. But I didn't want it to be too typical, so I put the twists in. **

**I hope you liked it. Please review to make me not that depressed anymore.**


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